Better Late Than Never

Sooo, I was supposed to blog while I was on the trip . . . but, I never got around to it.

Er, well, you know what they say!

Here are some reflections. It was an intense and wonderful trip. Our group was great - and small - so we all got to know each other pretty well. :) San Francisco is BEAUTIFUL. I'm so thankful I got a chance to go - it was definitely an opportunity of a lifetime.

This is what our week looked like:

On Monday we went to do some community organizing. I had some issues with it because we were wading in very political waters. I'm not a hugely political person. I understand that we need politicians, and since I know I wasn't cut out to be one, I am incredibly grateful for people who do feel called into that arena. But, having said that, I didn't sign up for this trip to rep a particular partisan agenda, and I felt uncomfortable doing so.

Additionally, before that day, I'd never heard of the organization that we were supposed to be advocating for. In the past, I've found myself in sticky situations where I was selling something I wasn't necessarily buying. I felt that I didn't have enough information - and I was very wary.

I voiced my concern - and I know I wasn't the only one who felt that way. Still, I participated in the actual community organizing later in the day (my group talked to people outside a supermarket). I have to say, I was surprised and touched by how receptive people in the community were. They seemed to genuinely want and need the help that this organization was offering.

Tuesday - We went to speak with the Chief of Probation, Donald Blevins, the Probation Director, Reggie Davis and Community Network Coordinator, Tony Crear. I thought it was really interesting and informative. I was very thankful that these busy guys took so much time away from their days to come and talk to us. Mr. Crear told us a little bit about his story - how he came to work for Almeda County - it was incredibly inspiring.

Wednesday - It was a fairly intense day. We saw a parole meeting that morning. I was moved to tears more than once. I don't remember the first speaker's name - but I will always remember his speech. He said he used to sit where newly freed men were sitting - and that he'd made the decision to do something different with his life. He told of how, earlier that week, his mother had passed away and the event had proved devastating - but - he was SO thankful that she passed away knowing that her son had made something of himself. He wanted the same for these guys. And we could tell that he meant it. All the speakers were so genuine. It was hard to believe and deeply inspiring to discover that they gave these same spiels EVERY week.

After the parole meeting we toured the brand new Almeda County Juvenile Hall facility. It was immaculate, crisp, state of the art, and haunting. I really felt for the kids that found themselves there. And I was moved by the passion that exuded from the people who worked there

Thursday was a much needed free day - I did some shopping that morning for souvenirs to bring home and then in the afternoon we all went to Alcatraz. It was (surprisingly) beautiful - and haunting as well, but in a much different way.

Friday - Oh, MAN - this was definitely the hardest day. We went to San Quentin. Before we went a lot of people were expressing how nervous/excited they felt about going. Personally, I was feeling kind of indifferent. I didn't fully grasp the intensity and meaning of this last leg of our journey and I was feeling very tired - living in the hostel for the week and being away from my husband and daughter had taken it's toll on me - I was starting to feel ready to go home.

So, as you can imagine, I hadn't prepared myself mentality (or emotionally) AT ALL for what we were about to experience. But from the moment we arrived I knew it was going to be more than I had originally bargained for. We had to go through two separate security checks. As we stood outside waiting to go through the second one, Mr. Crittendon pointed out death row and explained that we would not be able to go there, for obvious reasons. We were all a little relieved, I think.

After we all made it through the second security point, we walked over to the chapel as the gates closed behind us. It was eery, to say the least. In the chapel, we sat down with the teens who were a part of Real Choices - a group of boys who may have been vulnerable to becoming involved in gang activity. Our prisoner guides introduced themselves, directing their attention to the teenagers mostly. Some of them told us how they got there. Some had been there for 20-30+ years. In his introduction, one of the prisoners, explaining that before a person gets to the point of violence or a gang - there's a kind of catalyst. He asked us all what that might be. Then he posed this question, "How many of you have a father figure in your home?"

In our pew, every college kid's hand shot up. We sat behind the teens and watched . . . as nothing happened. Almost none of the teenagers could raise their hand. The illustration was vivid, remarkable, and really really sad. I felt angry at the world - at this illustration that some people are a lot more fortunate than others - and I tried (successfully for the moment) to hold back tears.

Later I did cry. It was hard, walking through the prison. When we walked by the prisoners in their cells, our prisoner guides would walk by our side for our protection. The psychology of that alone was almost impossible to wrap my mind around.

Our guides told us about heated racial tension, and the very real possibilities of being killed or being put in a position where you're forced to kill someone else. We ate prison food, which wasn't that bad until our guides informed us that it's what they ate EVERY single day. Mr. Crittendon told us about the amazing mural in the mess halls by Santos, a former prison and an insanely talented artist, who had hidden secrets in the walls.

The word that kept coming to my mind throughout the day: dehumanizing. The whole thing, it was crazy. And sad. Like, we treat the prisoners like animals and then we're surprised when they act like animals.

Our guides were AMAZING. I was moved by their stories. And I've found myself thinking about them often since I returned.

I walked away from San Quentin feeling like I had been changed in some kind of fundamental way. Not many people can or want to say that they visited San Quentin on their spring break, but I am ridiculously thankful that I can.

Vernell Crittendon was AWESOME. I loved getting to know him throughout the week. He, too, was a total inspiration. I'm so thankful that we got to meet him. He is truly a remarkable man.

Ha, I think that covers everything. Thanks for reading this lengthy blog. :)

LOVE~

Brandy

All Done

So the trip has just ended and everyones going back to their own personal lives. Hopefully, everyone can value their life a little bit more now after experiencing what we got to experience this week. Visiting San Quentin State Prison opened a lot of participants eyes, mine included. Over 5000 men inhabit the cells of San Quentin. Amazingly, we were being led on a tour by 'lifers' who have devoted their time and effort to save young, at risk youth, by explaining where they went wrong, including the decisions they made. These men were the most sincere, kind human beings. MANY people define these men as 'criminals,' a demeaning noun, and visiting San Quentin changed that mentality for a few on the trip who thought that way. These men are not criminals; they are individuals who had to grow up on the mean streets of Oakland, Richmond, Long Beach, etc. and were at the wrong place at the wrong time. We got to sit one on one, face to face, with men who were convicted of murder, robbery, manslaughter, etc., but that fact escaped everyones minds when these men had impactful, and meaningful stories to share with us.

In leading us on the tour, these prisoners were passionate about keeping the tour group safe. They were the first line of defense between us and thousands of inmates, and they made that point very clear. These men are serving life, double life, triple life sentences and they still had the decency to share their lives with us, while risking their lives to protect us. What hit me hard was the fact that these inmates would do anything to trade lives with us, but they are faced with the fact that they may die in prison. We got to tour with some middle school and high school at risk youth, and some of them refused to believe what the men had to share. One student particularly liked to laugh everything off, saying he wasn't scared of being in prison. This hurt the prisoners very much, and throughout the tour, a few of them focused their attention and efforts on this one young man. Giovanni, a man convicted of murder, stuck by this kids side, as he described himself being the same kid. He did not want to see this young man follow in his footsteps, and by the end of the tour, everyone could see the impact Giovanni had on this kid.

This program is an AMAZING program for youth to learn and understand how they can change their lives, but unfortunately some aren't dealt the right cards and suffer a huge disadvantage. Fatherless homes, poverty stricken families, violence, and racism put all these at risk youth in very serious danger of filling the San Quentin cells in the years to come. All the participants finally made the connection of the whole trip. Everything got tied together, from community organizing, to the factors plaguing the youth of California, and everyone feels a lot more humble, and fortunate for what they have in their lives.

It is our turn and our responsibility to reform this punishing system. Dingy, tiny cells, disgusting showers, profanity, gang wars, and other violence have made San Quentin hell, and locking thousands of men in cages for days at a time is not going to change anyone. I have learned through the stories and experiences of these men, that people CAN change, and these men are not criminals, they are men who committed a crime. They are people first, and the word 'criminal' has new meaning. Everyone deserves a second chance, but this second chance means nothing without providing men with money, family, rehab, and a home.

This trip had a HUGE impact on everyone, and the reflection sessions have changed peoples viewpoints and sparked passion to do something to change this system. We do not have much time to begin this reform, because tomorrow 18, 19, 20 year old men will commit a crime and will never be allowed to see their families or loved ones again. 75 years to life is not the answer! The prison system is very flawed and needs huge reform.

This trip was amazing.

Nikhil

San Quentinh

Today we all went to San Quentin, State Penitentiary. I was quite nervous at the beginning of the day and I couldn't help but feel worried. I had no real expectations only that it would be an emotional experience. When we first got there I worried that I would get emotional or that I wouldn't be able to contain myself. When we first walked in through the large gate door, I felt nothing and I continued to feel nothing even when we met the "lifers" that would be taking us on our tour.

It truly felt as if these convicts were nothing more than just a regular guy that you were talking to. The fact that we were walking through the corridor with convicts felt like nothing more than a stroll in a very grim park. The feelings of fear finally set in the moment the guards yelled out "Escort" which means that all prisoners and visitors must turn and face the wall so they won't be able to see the prisoner being escorted. At that moment I knew this was real and as the tour began through the first ward, it became clear that this would be a lot more difficult to handle as time passed. We walked through two wards and we got nothing but rude remarks, hollering, barking, etc. As we continued walking it became quite uncomfortable for Emily T. and I to continue walking because we feared that these men might just throw something at us.

At one point we were shown where the prisoners shower and it truly made my skin crawl. It was a scary picture, it is nothing you could ever imagine and the feeling you get when you see those showers for yourself is impossible to explain. Eight men showered together for a mere 10 minutes. The showers filled up with water for about a foot high and it was explained that most men had Hepatitis C and it was easily contracted via the showers. This foot of water also carried any other disease these men had and could easily contract it to another, i.e. crabs, scabies, HIV etc. But disease wasn't the only thing these men feared in the shower. Being killed or stabbed was another possibility.

The tour ended with eating lunch with the "lifers." We were able to talk to them one on one and it truly opened up my eyes to know that these men were missing out on simple things i.e. eating an orange, having something other than a PB&J sandwich, or simply being able to have a decent shower. It was sad to think how much we take for granted. It truly made me reevaluate my life in every aspect. These convicts are still men, they still have souls, and at least the men we got to talk to seemed to be remorseful about what they had done. I truly feel that these men shouldn't be subjected to these kinds of living conditions. They truly don't deserve to be treated and caged in like animals with a daily fear of possibly losing their life.

This experience made me reevaluate my views on the justice system and that people aren't dealt the same cards. Some people are lucky and some not so lucky. It truly makes you see that this mentality that everyone can make it, isn't such a truthful one. So many social factors play such a major role in how criminals and convicts end up where they do. There is no one main reason why people end up in prison, it is one great big machine that consists of wealth, race, education, family, community, government etc. Although it was very emotional and quite overwhelming, it was a great experience.

-Deirdre Coyoy

Shopping and Alcatraz

This morning Sarah, Deirdre, and I went shopping very efficiently. We ended up getting everything we wanted during this shopping trip. This morning off was really nice for all of us because we got to relax a little. Deirdre and I got awesome sweatshirts that have the California flag on them.

We went to Alcatraz at 1:55, which was really fun!!! Leaving the dock was really exciting and seeing the island get closer and the signs warning about the escapees. The nice bay breeze was very refreshing. We went to see the movie and it was very interesting and I learned a lot of things about Alcatraz that I didn't know. For example, I did not know it had been used for political reasons, or that the guards families and kids lived on the island as well. Then we went on an audio tour. The narrators were very interesting and the background noise made it seem so life-like. Sometimes the narration was a bit too descriptive. I ended up getting a book about the bird-man a gang member.

Alcatraz was really nice and seemed very friendly. The island had a wide assortment of birds flying around it as we approached it. The prison cells were very spooky but the outside views were gorgeous!!

-Emily

Big day tomorrow

So it has been a long week, and the whole group has been immersed in the justice system and its complexities. We got to see another step of the incarceration process, as we got to sit in on a mandatory parolee meeting. It was amazing to see 20-30 people, who had been released less than a week gather to hear some really, really motivational speakers. The program is designed to have parolees sign up with at least 2 community organizations that range from health care to employment training. We got to speak to a parole officer, who mentioned that he sees the same people over and over again. Often, these prisoners are released into society without any real structure, and they find themselves in a vicious cycle. I did not expect the parolee meeting to be so informal, but it really allowed speakers to get on the parolees levels. This informal environment allowed speakers (a lot of whom were former prisoners) to develop a trust from the newly freed men. Also, we got to visit an amazing facility, the Alameda County Juvenile Justice Center. This facility was a state of the art juvenile detention center. The juveniles have access to the best healthcare, a great education, and a lot of structure. It was very interesting that the facility was so nice, because for these kids, the facility is the nicest place they have ever known. It provides a roof over their heads, food in their stomach, and a sense of healthy living and security. Do juveniles get in trouble on purpose to provide this stability in their life? It is a serious question and brings into light the delicate balance of rehabilitation and punishment. Which works the best?

Tomorrow, the group goes to San Quentin. It should be a really interesting and very insightful experience. I expect a lot of emotions and shock from the participants. I am very excited about the experience we are about to have, I think it is going to be a great end to the week.

Nikhil

Big day tomorrow

Really loving it here

I really really like it here. And the stuff we are learning about the justice system. Amazing!

I am not sure how long to make this, I fear that if I go into detail it will be way too long because of how many things my mind and body feel. Some of the stuff is really enlightening that we have learned here, but also disheartening.

The west coast is pretty awesome. The drivers are....nicer. Don't want to say better. But generally nicer. Also I love the environmental frenzies. And going outside for a walk is the most pleasant thing I have ever experienced!

Although I have always been interested in the justice system in regards to human rights, it wasn't until this trip that I actually saw it as a potential career interest. I don't know exactly what that means yet, or if that will evolve. But it just evoked an emotional response that I never knew I had. I think that a lot of participants feel similarly.

I am afraid of writing too much, I have a horrible tendency to do that.

Never want to leave!

-Lindsey